Being an Introvert in an Extrovert’s World

The world is far kinder to extroverts.  They are hailed as the world changers, the do-ers, and the leaders.  It’s not written, never even said aloud, but society assumes that introverts are anti-social followers.  I grew up being told that I was an extrovert because I am a do-er.  I can hardly sit still to finish a single television episode.  I’m constantly looking for things to learn about, new experiences, people to meet.  I want to change the world.  I want to be a leader.  I want to DO.  But I hate the spotlight and I hate groups.  I want to meet people because I want to learn about their personal motivations and their dreams.  But when I’m in a group, my limbs suddenly grow an extra foot and I don’t know what to do with myself other than slouch in a corner and appear anti-social.  But should someone come and save me from my lonely corner with a simple hello, you would see that I want to meet you! I really do!  I would love to help just about anyone reach their goals, but I need to be told what they need.  I can’t deal with the small talk to that leads up to the nitty gritty.  I don’t know why, but I simply can’t.  I don’t want to talk about the weather.  Only ask me how my parents are doing if you actually care.  Stop wasting my time and energy on fillers.

Well times are changing and with technology becoming the main medium for pretty much everything, introverts are blossoming behind the scenes.  All I can say is that I plan on doing amazing things, going to amazing places and working with amazing people.  But I’ll be amazing from the comfort of small groups and email correspondence.

Money vs Time: The Cost of the Present

We’re all familiar with the  truisms “time is money,” “time is priceless,” “being rich is having money, being wealthy is having time”… I could go on forever.  When you’re young, you have time but probably little money.  As you age and your career (and hopefully savings) grows, the concept of time becomes increasingly precious as you try to find some personal time in between work and chores.

I’ve always had the opinion that time is worth far more than money, but my year with AmeriCorps has challenged that belief more than a few times.  I used to calculate the cost of an action by the amount of time it took to complete.  A year ago, an hour of my time was roughly $25.  Is it more efficient to call a car or for me to spend double the transportation time and take a bus to the airport?  These days, according to my paycheck (more accurately stipend), an hour of my time is worth about $3.  Needless to say, my sudden drop in monetary clout influences many of my decisions and actions.

A year ago I detested asking for favors.  I am an independent person that associates aid with reliance and helplessness.  If spending a few dollars could accomplish the same thing as spending a friend’s time, I would opt for spending money.  At least I’d only be spending MY time instead of OUR time.  A year ago I would have opted for the convenient route for pretty much anything.  I ate out all the time because it was cheaper to buy food than to spend the time to make food.  I regularly had my nails done because they did a far better job and $20 Mani-Pedi specials?  How could I say no?  Today I will do nearly anything to have some spending cash.  I regularly peruse part-time job sites in hopes of finding a few hours of work that do not clash with my schedule.

There are so many unexpected side effects of my lifestyle change.  My friendship circle is shrinking.  My social media influence is growing weaker.  I’m not claiming that I have ever been popular or a social media guru, but I always felt like I had a voice.  Money gives you the illusion of power and importance and without it, you start to question your  worth.

I cannot accomplish what I could before.  I am not nearly as independent as I would like to be.  I hate these new limitations that make me feel pathetic and invisible.   I can’t remember the last time I went out with friends for drinks because I simply do not have the funds.  I question “free” events because I mentally calculate the cost of gas and parking.  When was the last time I bought a new piece of clothing?  I honestly can’t remember.

I still believe that my time will always be worth much more than any amount of money.  But I chose to commit myself to a year of service.  Unfortunately the quality of my time correlates with what is available in my bank account.  Thank god for free Wi-Fi and libraries!