Being an Introvert in an Extrovert’s World

The world is far kinder to extroverts.  They are hailed as the world changers, the do-ers, and the leaders.  It’s not written, never even said aloud, but society assumes that introverts are anti-social followers.  I grew up being told that I was an extrovert because I am a do-er.  I can hardly sit still to finish a single television episode.  I’m constantly looking for things to learn about, new experiences, people to meet.  I want to change the world.  I want to be a leader.  I want to DO.  But I hate the spotlight and I hate groups.  I want to meet people because I want to learn about their personal motivations and their dreams.  But when I’m in a group, my limbs suddenly grow an extra foot and I don’t know what to do with myself other than slouch in a corner and appear anti-social.  But should someone come and save me from my lonely corner with a simple hello, you would see that I want to meet you! I really do!  I would love to help just about anyone reach their goals, but I need to be told what they need.  I can’t deal with the small talk to that leads up to the nitty gritty.  I don’t know why, but I simply can’t.  I don’t want to talk about the weather.  Only ask me how my parents are doing if you actually care.  Stop wasting my time and energy on fillers.

Well times are changing and with technology becoming the main medium for pretty much everything, introverts are blossoming behind the scenes.  All I can say is that I plan on doing amazing things, going to amazing places and working with amazing people.  But I’ll be amazing from the comfort of small groups and email correspondence.

Money vs Time: The Cost of the Present

We’re all familiar with the  truisms “time is money,” “time is priceless,” “being rich is having money, being wealthy is having time”… I could go on forever.  When you’re young, you have time but probably little money.  As you age and your career (and hopefully savings) grows, the concept of time becomes increasingly precious as you try to find some personal time in between work and chores.

I’ve always had the opinion that time is worth far more than money, but my year with AmeriCorps has challenged that belief more than a few times.  I used to calculate the cost of an action by the amount of time it took to complete.  A year ago, an hour of my time was roughly $25.  Is it more efficient to call a car or for me to spend double the transportation time and take a bus to the airport?  These days, according to my paycheck (more accurately stipend), an hour of my time is worth about $3.  Needless to say, my sudden drop in monetary clout influences many of my decisions and actions.

A year ago I detested asking for favors.  I am an independent person that associates aid with reliance and helplessness.  If spending a few dollars could accomplish the same thing as spending a friend’s time, I would opt for spending money.  At least I’d only be spending MY time instead of OUR time.  A year ago I would have opted for the convenient route for pretty much anything.  I ate out all the time because it was cheaper to buy food than to spend the time to make food.  I regularly had my nails done because they did a far better job and $20 Mani-Pedi specials?  How could I say no?  Today I will do nearly anything to have some spending cash.  I regularly peruse part-time job sites in hopes of finding a few hours of work that do not clash with my schedule.

There are so many unexpected side effects of my lifestyle change.  My friendship circle is shrinking.  My social media influence is growing weaker.  I’m not claiming that I have ever been popular or a social media guru, but I always felt like I had a voice.  Money gives you the illusion of power and importance and without it, you start to question your  worth.

I cannot accomplish what I could before.  I am not nearly as independent as I would like to be.  I hate these new limitations that make me feel pathetic and invisible.   I can’t remember the last time I went out with friends for drinks because I simply do not have the funds.  I question “free” events because I mentally calculate the cost of gas and parking.  When was the last time I bought a new piece of clothing?  I honestly can’t remember.

I still believe that my time will always be worth much more than any amount of money.  But I chose to commit myself to a year of service.  Unfortunately the quality of my time correlates with what is available in my bank account.  Thank god for free Wi-Fi and libraries!

Stop the Skinny Shaming Already

Go ahead, be proud of that ass.  God knows I’m as likely to look at it as the next guy, but is “fuck the skinny bitches in the club” really necessary!?  Us “skinny bitches” get so much shit for being something we cannot help.  There are so many taboo and politically incorrect subjects and the list just keeps growing.  How is skinny shaming ok!?  More than ok actually, it’s applauded as a empowerment movement.  Embrace those curves for all I care, but if you feel like you need to step on me to get a leg up, you’re putting yourself down.  
Two popular songs right now: Meghan Trianor’s “All About That Bass” and Nickii Minaj’s “Anaconda.”  I’m not comparing them or even insinuating that they’re in the same league – but they have one common message and both use the phrase “skinny bitches.”  I have never struggled with weight.  I’ve always been blessed with the ability to eat as much fattening foods as I want, exercise via sleep, and not gain an ounce.  For that, I’m grateful.  I hate it when people whine about being fat or looking fat, not because I hate the fat but because I hate the complaints.  We all have issues with our image no matter how attractive we are because we are drilled to think that there’s always room for superficial improvement.  
In many places in Asia I am considered too fat, too tall, and too tan to be even close to attractive.  And that feeling sucks.  I remember walking around in Hong Kong finding it hard to make eye contact with department store sales people because I felt pity oozing from their pores.  THEY pitied ME.  But never in a million years would I want to be them.  Being told by complete strangers “I HOPE YOU GET FAT” just because I’m eating a donut is harassment.  There were several situations where it was my turn to cross the street but was cut off by a driver yelling “DON’T THINK YOU’RE A PRINCESS JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE SKINNY!”  I mean… what!?  I need to be extra careful about the things I say and do when I’m in certain situations because I don’t want to be misunderstood or to offend.  That’s not fair.  Being told “you’re so lucky you’re SKINNY” tears at me because “skinny” should never be the goal.  There is no medical, tangible definition of “skinny.”  Aim to be fit or healthy.  But the worst is when an overweight person tells me “you’ll never understand” while drinking soda or eating something unhealthy.  How dare you lecture me when you’re doing this to yourself?  Especially when you won’t walk the 3 blocks to get your soda in the first place? Stop hating and just do.  Don’t just sit back on your fat ass (HA!).
The feeling of shame is structured by society, but self-imposed.   Certain magazines and media outlets may portray the “perfect woman” as an impossibly skinny, long-legged creature, but there’s also this other side of media that tells me I can’t be a “real woman” if I don’t have that “boom boom” (I don’t know what to pull from Minaj’s “Anaconda” since I don’t understand half of her lyrics).  When I was in fifth grade a bully told me I looked anorexic.  After Googling what that actually meant, I felt sickened.  Did I look like THAT to other people?  Was there something wrong with me?  I started binge eating but it made no difference.  I’m simply born this way.  Curves or no, I fucking love my body.  Everyone should be proud of who and what they are.  If you aren’t, then you’re doing something wrong.  But just because you have to work harder to even the playing field in one area, doesn’t mean you can use it as your crutch.  For the record Nicki, I got a real nice ass!

I Don’t Deserve to Do the Ice Bucket Challenge

I refuse to do the Ice Bucket Challenge. It’s been around for a while but started going viral July 2014. It has garnered Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Association (ALSA) more money and attention than it has ever received and far more than it expected. Marketing is one of the world’s many necessary evils and when used correctly, is 110% good. In this situation, the geniuses behind the bucket challenge did a fabulous job. People now know that there is a medical condition called amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or at least they’re familiar with the acronym ALS. Research now has more funding than ever and with the issue highlighted, ALS has attracted many more brilliant researchers and scientists to dedicate their time and talents to finding a cure.
So what do I have against this? I think it’s foolish to donate money to a cause without the right intention. It is foolish to need social media to tell you what to donate to. It is foolish to think that posting a video of yourself getting water dumped on will fulfill your philanthropic quota for the year. Because you do not care. I’m assuming that most don’t know much more about ALS now than they did before. I refuse to donate or do the bucket challenge because my motives won’t be the right ones. I’ll be donating due to peer pressure for a cause I care very little about. I’ll be posting a video to get “likes” and that’s just wrong.
This image has been circulating around the internet:

 

And it has faced a fierce backlash of outrage.  People are upset that “only” 27% of their donations are going to research and the remaining 73% are going to “waste.”  Let’s take a step back and reevaluate this.  100% of their expenses are necessary.  We could get technical and debate how this pie could’ve or should’ve been cut, but none of their expenses are “waste.”  Without fundraising, there would be very little money to start with.  Without public and professional education, those suffering from and wanting to learn more about ALS would be much more frustrated and lost.  Without patient and community services, there is little reason for research to even exist.  And without administrative costs, there would be nobody to put it all together.  Spending 7% on administration is actually very good.  Education and marketing material cannot be produced for free.  Office space and salaries are also costly.  And lastly, this is last year’s expense chart.  ALSA has received 500%+ the donations they received last year.  The sizes of the slices will change and the 7% spent on their people power, will shrink even smaller.  How can someone, donating money with a click of a button, be justly outraged that “only 27%” of their donations are being put to use?  This is a non-profit organization that has existed since 1985 with a 4 out of 4 star rating for accountability and transparency, compared to Red Cross’ 3 out of 4 rating.  

Organizations such as ALSA are not given their fair amount of credit.  Simply existing and making ends meet is a challenge for many 501(c)(3)s.  Project by Project, a non-profit that I have had the opportunity to work with, recently held their annual Plate by Plate food tasting benefit.  After months of hard work from an army of volunteers and with expenses cut down to the bare minimum, raised $43,000 with a $33,000 budget.  That means after so much toil and time, we were able to donate $10,000 to our partner.  That is about 23% that goes into our “research” category but we were darn proud.  

Awareness is just as important as the amount raised for a cause.  We may not have raised a large amount, but $10,000 is now helping fund a non-profit mental-illness counseling service.  We have learned about and highlighted the issue within the community and we have helped a partner organization survive just a little bit better.  I’m grateful for the ice bucket challenge.  I have heard about ALS, but it was an empty acronym to me.  I care more about ALS than I have ever before, but not enough to dump a bucket of ice water over my head and declare to the world “I stand by this cause because I know and I care about ALS!”  That would be a lie and I don’t deserve to make that claim.

 

The BF’s (or GF’s) Guide to Lingerie

This was a long time coming.  Lingerie has always been a passion of mine for several reasons: it’s beautiful, it’s empowering, it’s practical, and it’s slightly taboo — that’s what gives it the exciting electricity.  I started at a fairly young age.  I was sixteen when I bought my first bra/panty/garter belt set. I was scared, exhilarated and stupid.  It was at least two sizes too large, but I coveted that lace so badly that I purchased it.  Fast forward six years, after multiple brands and sets, and here we are.

The first challenge is knowing what’s what.  Let’s go over the Basics.

Body:

Teddy
I affectionately refer to these as “onesies.”  They resemble lacey one-piece swimsuits and come in a variety of shapes and colors.

Advice: Great option for those that want to hide a lil baby fat as it usually covers the stomach.  Also great for emphasizing legs!  Matched with a simple pair of heels, this is an easy outfit to complete.  No frills.

Corset/Bustier 
Traditionally, tight fitting pieces designed to shape and slim down your silhouette.  Modern day version is more commonly a strapped or strapless body piece that is usually paired with thigh-highs and a garter belt.  The main difference between a corset and a bustier is that a corset has a much softer build while a bustier is structured to accentuate the breasts.

Advice: I’m a huge fan of corsets… not so much bustiers.  They’re pretty, feminine, and if she’s new to lingerie, almost feels like a very sexy tank top.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Babydoll & Slip

These are pretty much interchangeable.  Think sexy, short dress.  Can be lacy, sheer or open in the front.

Advice: Every girl needs one whether to tease, seduce or simply to sleep in.  Scratch that, not just one.  Every girl needs a lacey one, a sexy one and a satin/silk one.

Bra Types:

Sheer 
Most commonly made with mesh or lace.  Exactly as the name implies.  It’s see-through and wonderful.

Advice: Probably one of the most comfortable bras ever.  It’s light and feels like you’re not wearing a bra – because you basically aren’t.

Demi  
Demis are like normal bras, but with the cup cut lower.  Which means more skin.  What’s not to love?

Advice: Better for those with smaller breasts (Yay!).  Not great for practical use since they might leave a line under your shirts because of it’s lowered cut, but it’s great to lounge in (especially when your bf is ignoring you because he’s too busy reading the New Yorker.)

T-Shirt
Your everyday bra.  ‘Nuff said.

Push-Up    
The “I didn’t sign up for this” bra. False advertisement at its finest.

 

Panties:

G-String 
The whore of the panty family.  Small piece of triangular piece of cloth in front held on by a “string” around the hips and between the cheeks.

Advice: If she doesn’t groom (completely) down there, don’t get this.

Thong
One of my favorites.  Instead of “strings” this is held together with a thin strip of fabric.

Advice: I think this is much sexier than a g-string.

Cheekies   
“Normal” panties that show a little more cheek.  They’re cut higher in the back to show more bootie.

Advice: Not flattering for those with big behinds, but absolutely adorable for those with perky ones!

Bikini   
What you think of when you think of a “normal” panty.

Boyshorts   
Think extreme booty shorts.

Advice: Great for those with big rounds ones, not so much for smaller glutes.

 

Accessories:

Stockings   
Fishnets, thigh-highs, etc.

Garter Belt 
A staple every girl should have.  Garter belts wrap around the waist with four elastic straps hanging down, two in the front and two in the back.  The straps have clips at the end to attach to thigh-highs.

Advice: Great way to show off legs.  They come in many different colors and styles.  Start off with a simple black one.

Scarf/Tie
Multi-purpose from handcuffs to blindfolds to leashes.

Candles & Music 
Set the mood!  Makes a world of a difference.

Imagination 
Nothing is sexier.

Conclusion

Like all fashion, lingerie is wearable (and sometimes edible) art.   With so many options, it can be overwhelming and intimidating to walk into a store.  Make it easier and familiarize yourself by looking online first.  Once you have an idea of what you want, you’ll feel a lot more confident asking for help in a store.  How do you choose?  The rule of thumb is to choose what flatters her body type!  What do she like to flaunt (legs, cleavage, back etc.)?  What is her personality (sexy seductress, cute & sweet, etc.)?  As you probably guessed, I have a penchant for black and white lingerie, but feel free to play around with color!
My biggest tip: when in doubt go with lace.  It’s universally flattering, sexy and pretty.  The patterns cover up areas she may feel insecure about while allowing a sneak-peak of skin.  And if she’s a little shy, it still feels feminine and pretty.

Stores:

Victoria Secret ($$)
If it’s your first time, this is your best bet.  Friendly, reassuring sales people.  There’s nothing too risque or exotic here.

Mary Green ($$)
Eco-friendly, comfortable clothing

Elle Macpherson ($$)
Cute, girly and colorful lingerie.  Wide selection of color and lace!

Mimi Holliday ($$$)
Girly and lacy

La Perla ($$$$)
“Impeccable Italian”, classic, feminine and sexy. Makes for a great Valentines or anniversary present!

Agent Provocateur ($$$$)
A little edgy and a lot of sexy

Bordelle ($$$$)
Perfect for the girl that likes bondage and spikes.  Almost nothing practical in their entire store but it’s perfection.

 

 

Channeling My Inner Sherlock: Grocery Line Edition

I recently started watching Elementary because I couldn’t wait for the next season of Sherlock.  I love Sherlock and everything Sherlock-y, but let me rewind.  When I was a little girl, I had a thick, cardinal red hardcover book that contained every Sherlock Holmes story written by the great Sir Arthur Conan Doyle – all 56 of them.  The title was gold embossed and instead of looking gaudy, it was quite a lovely thing.  Though physically limited to a four inch thick spine, the text seemed infinite to me.  I hate to delve into the stereotypes, but unlike many young girls, I never dreamed of being the princess or the damsel in distress.  The idea of being a hired assassin was far more intriguing.  Why?  I’m not blood hungry.  I don’t dream about hunting people.  But it’s the sense of power, the mystery and the irrefutable outcome.  You are given a task and a target.  How you achieve the outcome is up to you.  Even as an (dare I claim it?) adult, I value goals and the freedom to achieve them however I wish.  Sherlock solved mysteries that seemed unsolvable.  Reached conclusions that seemed to defy common sense.
Within the story, I was Sherlock.  I felt the adrenaline holding that worn book in my hands.  My heart stopped when Sherlock led me into  dark alley.  I smirked in triumph when the murderer with the seemingly perfect alibi was caught.  It was everything my imagination yearned for.  Doyle’s stories were first published in 1887 and they still capture the imagination and obsession of many people- blossoming into multiple versions of Sherlock the movie and of Sherlock the television series.  Doyle birthed a new kind of hero: one that made the world a better place by disobeying rules and conventions.
There are multiple chances in a day where anyone can challenge themselves to be a 1-minute Sherlock.  When stuck in traffic, how many of us make assumptions about our neighbors on the highway?  Make up a story about the SUV with 30 bumper stickers?  Or the worn down civic that owes its faltering life to duct tape?  Today, I was in front of a young man in the grocery’s checkout line.  He bought very normal things:

– instant ravioli
– pasta sauce
– milk
– Cereal
– bagged salad vegetables

At first glance, anyone could assume that this is a very normal guy purchasing very normal things.  But because I had nothing else to do, I took the time to wonder why he chose those specific things  The ravioli and pasta sauce went together.  They sufficed as a healthy and quick meal.  The milk and cereal went together and I assume they would become his breakfast for as long as they lasted.  This was a man that wanted to streamline his life; he was either busy or did not have much faith in his culinary abilities.  The cereal he bought was whole grain, but it was also chocolate flavored.  Here was a boy at heart that was attempting to be healthy.  Nothing he bought was store brand.  He was status conscious and was affluent enough to not care to save a couple bucks here and there.  While waiting in line, he was pacing.  He was impatient or was in a rush to get somewhere so I offered to let him go in front of me.  He flashed me a surprised smile, pulled out his reusable bag and accepted with a simple head nod.  In that smile, I saw a potential friend.  I wanted to crack a joke about his obvious laziness in the kitchen. But that desire passed in a second and he immediately became just another stranger to me.  We have hundreds of these interactions a week.  Few are ever pursued.  It’s terrifying and amazing to think how unlikely you and your closest friend even met.  How against all odds, you met your significant other.

Until next time, grocery check out line, until next time!

You have Google. Use it and leave me alone.

I get unreasonably angry when someone texts/messages/etc. me a question they could easily Google.  Yes, it might be more efficient to ask me than to search the web.  Yes, advice from a friend is much more reliable than from a stranger online.  And perhaps yes, I should take it as a compliment that you thought of me in your time of need.  But I’m not talking about questions that ask for my advice or opinion.  I am referring to those simple questions that I’m oh-so-tempted-to-bring-up-but-shan’t because said people will know immediately who I’m referring to.  And why!? In this wonderful time of instant knowledge from Google, would you ever ask me directions to a specific location? You do realize that you just called me on your SMART phone for directions… right?
As children many of us were told “there is no such thing as a stupid question.”  Hopefully by third grade we realized that was a white lie to foster our curiosity and embolden us to raise our chubby little hands.  With a smart phone bulging out of your butt pocket, the range of stupid questions has exploded.  I have the idiocratic need to respond to phone calls and texts immediately, regardless of my current activity.  This means that if I’m rushing somewhere and receive a text with a question, I will stop and answer it even if that means I will be late.  This means that if I’m out with friends and receive a phone call, I will step outside and talk to you even if I haven’t seen my friends in years. 
Respect my time and keep your head.  Google that before you bother me.

Dissociative Identity Disorder & Social Media

The word “wanderlust” is overused.  With the introduction of apps and tools like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat, everyone fancies themselves a traveler, a foodie, a concierge.  We’re constantly bombarded with images of delicious foods, exotic destinations, articles on self improvement.  The message is simply summed up as “you’re not good enough.”  BUT WAIT! There’s hope!  Because all you need is to also send out these images, these links, these posts and you’ll be part of the in-crowd!  So what’re you waiting for? Hope on the train and let’s start sharing our awesome adventures!
I’m hardly above the petty and indirect methods of showing off.  I have an Instagram that I use quite frequently but until recently, I followed no one.  Though I’m still ironing the details, I figured out a few things about my social media presence.
1) First line of defense: I just can’t be bothered updating everyone on what I’ve been up to.  Not only because it’s exhausting, but I also wouldn’t know where to start.  I take everything one day at a time and as OCD as I try to be about scheduling, I find it nearly impossible to find a path to stay on.  And do you actually care when you ask? Or is it a formality because we haven’t talked to each other in so long (which is really a few weeks but in today’s world, that’s years)?
2) It’s for me: Yes, I know what you’ve been up to because you’re on my newsfeed.  I’m sure my subconscious is comparing what you’ve been up to with my life and I’m sure there’s envy broiling somewhere underneath my bubbly online persona, but it’s not a voluntary reaction.  I like the option to (let’s be honest) stalk people online because it gives me ideas.  Ooh! Best places to get tacos in LA? I’m bookmarking that for my personal reference, thanks random Facebook friend who I don’t even remember the name of!  And you just bought a Chanel purse? It’s beautiful!  I’ll “like” it because I’m honestly happy for you.
3) Kills time: We all have those awkward 5-10 minute lulls where we’re either waiting for public transportation or a friend to show up.  What else but to whip out your phone and scroll through your Instagram and Facebook feeds?
4) PSA: I discovered this thing and I want to share it with you.  ‘Nuff said.

Who I am online is a facade of who I am in person.  Some of us are really good at projecting a certain persona.  I’m one of those people.  My Jung and Briggs Myers Typology is INFP.  Yep, you read that right, I’m in introvert.  Surprised?  I absolutely love traveling, meeting new people and exploring.  But I like doing these things alone.  Or at most, with one other person.  I appreciate and love the little moments in life the most.  The sound of the waves, the hint of citrus in the sauce, the sideways glance my boyfriend and I exchange when we know what devious thoughts the other is thinking.  These are all things that cannot and will never be captured through social media or any form of a medium.  These are things that are felt.
Most people will say that they feel like they don’t really know me.  If I give you a vague answer, please don’t take offense.  I simply am a very private person, despite my social media presence.  And I’d like to keep it that way.

Yogis

What crosses your mind when you’re doing yoga?  Instructors tell you to “clear your mind,” to “let go of your day” and “ground yourself.”  And let’s not forget my all time favorite “shine your heart forward,” whatever that means.  Sorry, I don’t mean to sound derisive.  I love yoga.  I love the darkness, the music, the lavender and citrus scents and the movements.  I love the paradox of feeling unity and conformity and yet moving at your own pace as an individual.  But I absolutely love analyzing my surrounds, which is perhaps counter-intuitive.  I love watching the “New Years resolution” yogis giggle over the unfamiliar poses to cover their awkwardness.  I love watching veteran yogis who look down on everyone else.  And who else absolutely loves that yoga couple that always place themselves dead center in the front?  Combined, they have 50+ tattoos, the dude has scruffy facial hair, and the girl most definitely paid way too much for those intricately designed yoga leggings.

This post really has no purpose, climax or resolution.  I’m simply curious as to how many people actually take their Ujjayi breath 100% seriously.  I mean, don’t get your panties all bunched up and please keep your baby happy, but seriously!?

I was a salesgirl at Lush

I worked as a minimum wage salesgirl for 2 months.  Why? Simply because I was curious.  The extra money didn’t hurt either.  I chose to work at a store called Lush.  I’ve been a customer of the store for years sporadically, mostly deterred because of the prices.  I chose Lush because:

1)   I liked their products (employee discounts anyone?)
2)   I admired the company’s values
3)   I’d have a blast playing with the lotions and soaps all day

I told a few people what I was up to.  Maybe I was a little embarrassed and scared about how they’d view me, but the main reason behind it was because I wanted to have this experience internally – without peer judgment or pressure.  The few that knew reacted overwhelmingly the same.  “WHY!?” Why are you wasting your time and abilities?  When I responded that I was simply curious, their response was an uncomprehending “…uh…ok?” I immediately felt a little ashamed and would hurry to explain, almost asking for forgiveness and begging for their understanding.

The interview was simple: pretend to be an associate to the interviewer who would play the customer.  It was over in 10 minutes.  They called within 6 hours to compliment me on my awesome hand massages and offered me the job.

If you asked me to recollect a specific memory from my experience at Lush, I would honestly draw a blank.  All my days blurred together into a steady hum of hustle and bustle.  Cue imagery of a busy beehive.  Like every job, it had its ups and downs but definitely more ups.  There were its lulls but mostly activity.  And you meet the most interesting people!

My greatest takeaway from this experience is how many people view sales people, including myself. I assumed that most were uneducated and lacked motivation for a “real” career.  Instead, I discovered a vibrant group of people with different views and priorities.  I was asked “Are you in college?” by customers daily.  I initially felt such shame and embarrassment for working at such a lowly position on the social totem pole that I lied, preferring to let them think that I had this job merely to help pay my way through college.  After a few days I started responding, “No, I actually graduated over a year ago!”  Their facial expressions were always fairly predictable.  First surprise, then embarrassment, then pity.  Some even expressed the sympathy, “oh the job market is so tough right now!” to which I would just smile and continue working.

Why is it that we view sales so differently? To be successful, you have to be quick on your feet, know how to read people, and familiarize yourself with the products, among many other skills.  I dealt with difficult, surly, narrow-minded people all day long and had to maintain a bubbly, courteous persona.  I currently work in an architectural design firm with the job title of “project coordinator.” When I tell people this, their response is usually “Oh wow! That sounds so cool!” assuming that I have my life together and that I am “successful.”  In reality, that response means nothing.  It’s a safe comment as is my position.  It’s socially accepted and doesn’t run a risk.  But does what I do now require any more skill than working at Lush?  I write emails, work with Microsoft Project and Excel (googling half my tasks of course), and report for meetings.  But if anything, I feel more like a replaceable pawn here than previously.  My personality isn’t needed or valued here as it was before.  In fact, my boss would probably prefer that I was an emotionless, predictable automaton.  I have standards and procedures to follow.  There is no need or desire for individuality or freedom.  Really, the only perks are that it looks pretty on my resume and that I get invited to holiday parties because it’s much less embarrassing to introduce your date as “working in architecture” than as a “salesgirl.”  Quite frankly, I miss it.  Computers and cubicles are overrated.